Alongside my cubicle job, which I am doing very well in, I am doing some product promotion for cosmetics companies.  Once a week, I receive assorted gels and conditioners to use with a bizarre set of instructions that I ignore because they are invariably wrong.  They also come with an odd questionnaire that asks what levels of irritation occur when I apply each product.  I usually just write “No irritation because I know not to apply tail conditioner to my eyeballs” in the spaces provided.